Ok, so normally I like to keep it pretty clean around here, light on the deserts, yada, yada, yada. But today is Fat Tuesday, and as the name implies, you're supposed to eat a lot of shitty food. I'll leave you to your own devices for actual dinner (it is also national pizza day, just sayin'), but when it comes to desert I've got some big ideas. Catholic, Jewish, Atheist whatever, you should most definitely take advantage of this well-branded holiday. Embrace your inner fat kid, pull up the Instacart app on your phone and get baking.
PEANUT BUTTER PRETZEL TARTLETS
Is there a better combo than chocolate and peanut butter? YES, chocolate, peanut butter, and a little bit of salt. Here's how it works.
2 C whole grain or gluten free pretzel sticks
1/4 c cold unsalted butter cut into cubes, plus more for the muffin tins
1/2 t vanilla extract
1/3 c coconut sugar or muscovado (brown) sugar
1 egg yolk
2 oz dark chocolate (60%-72%)
1/4 C heavy cream
1/3 C creamy natural peanut butter
1/4 C powdered coconut sugar or powdered sugar (if your peanut butter is really runny add some)
1/4 C toasted, salted peanuts
Flaked sea salt for garnish (Maldon flakes are great)
Pulse pretzels in a food processor until they form a coarse meal. Add the cold butter, vanilla, sugar, and egg yolk to the food processor and pulse until combined. Add 1 T of water at a time until the mixture sticks together. Chill mixture in fridge for 20 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 now and grease two mini muffin tins with butter.
Press a generous tablespoon of the crust mixture into the mini muffin tins, making sure to press it into the corners so they form little cups. Bake the crust until barely golden, about 12-14 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool,
While the crusts are cooling, break the chocolate into pieces and put in a heat- proof bowl (glass). Warm the cream in a small sauce pan barely to a simmer and pour hot cream over the chocolate pieces, stirring together the cream and chocolate until they are melted.
Remove shells from muffin tins. Using a small spoon, scoop peanut butter into shell. Using another spoon layer the chocolate ganache over the peanut butter. Should have enough to fill the shells to the top. Put a peanut on top for decoration and sprinkle some salt. Keep in the fridge until ready to serve.
This is a super delicious and totally grain free desert option (via the Detoxinista) that also happens to be chocolate free, if that's your thing. If it's not your thing, I bet ya some of the hot fudge sauce below would be amaze drizzled on top.
2 C almond flour
2 T coconut oil
1 T vanilla extract
1 T water
1/2 t sea salt
1 10 oz bag frozen raspberries
1/2 c maple syrup
1 t vanilla extract
juice of half a lemon
1 C pecans
2 T maple syrup
1 T coconut oil
1/4 t sea salt
1/4 t vanilla extract
For the filling: Heat 1/2 c maple syrup in a sauce pan on the stove until it simmers. Add the raspberries and vanilla and bring to a simmer again. Let cook for about 10 minutes so it thickens, then off the heat, add the lemon, and chill the mixture in the fridge while you prepare the crust.
For the crust: Preheat the oven to 350. Line an 8X8 baking dish with parchment. Pulse together all of the crust ingredients in a food processor until they stick together. Press mixture to bottom of baking dish and bake for about 12 minutes until slightly golden.
For the topping: Pulse the topping fixings in a food processor so that the mixture is combined but still course.
Once the crust has come out, layer your raspberry filling over the crust and top with the topping and bake for an additional 15 minutes at 350. Remove from oven and let cool completely before serving.
The beer in these brownies makes them super light (so the opposite of what beer does to me). If you're not into the beer sub with cold coffee.
1/2 sea salt
3 1/2 oz semisweet chocolate
1/4 c cocoa powder (Valrhona is a little fancy but super good)
8 T (1 stick) butter
1/2 C stout or other dark beer or cold coffee
2 C coconut sugar (or 1 C white and 1 C brown sugar)
4 large eggs
2 t vanilla extract
1 C semisweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350. Butter a 9X13 inch baking dish. Combine flour, salt, and cocoa.
Melt the chocolate in the microwave or double boiler. Heat the butter in a pan letting it just start to brown, about 5 minutes. Combine the butter and the chocolate making sure to get any brown bits left in your butter pan.
Combine all of the ingredients, except for the chocolate chips in a stand mixer or in a bowl and mix until they are well combined, probably about 2 minutes. Fold in choco chips. Pour batter into dish and bake 40-45 minutes. Cool and serve fatty.
BEST HOMEMADE FUDGE SAUCE
This super yummy fudge sauce is great with good old vanilla ice cream and sprinkles or drizzled over fruit if you're feeling skinny. Make your own whip cream and you're a real star.
3 oz semisweet chocolate (about 60%), chopped
1/4 C heavy cream
2 T brown rice syrup
1/2 t sea salt
Combine all ingredients in a double broiler or in a glass bow on top of a small saucepan with water in it and heat/ stir until well-combined